Child sexual abuse happens to 1
in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys before they turn 18. Children who have been sexually
abused suffer long-term consequences. They are at high risk for substance
abuse, eating disorders, behavioral problems, prostitution, depression, and
physical health issues. Although it may be difficult to defend children everywhere,
it is important to know that parents do have power to protect their children.
Here are some ways to lower the
risk of sexual abuse from happening to your loved ones:
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Make your home a "No
Secrets Zone"
Criminals use secrets to keep kids quiet and to continue the abuse. Make sure that your child knows that secrets are never okay. No one should ask them to keep a secret. It can be hard to explain, but teach your child the difference between a secret and a surprise. Secrets are something you are never supposed to tell and can make you feel bad. Surprises, like birthday gifts, are good and can be shown at a certain time.
Criminals use secrets to keep kids quiet and to continue the abuse. Make sure that your child knows that secrets are never okay. No one should ask them to keep a secret. It can be hard to explain, but teach your child the difference between a secret and a surprise. Secrets are something you are never supposed to tell and can make you feel bad. Surprises, like birthday gifts, are good and can be shown at a certain time.
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Respect your child's personal
limits
Do not force kids to give hugs or kisses if they do not want to. When you force physical contact that kids do not want, you send the message that adults do not have to respect kids' physical boundaries. You also leave them helpless to abusive situations. Listen when a child says "no." There are other ways to show love and respect that your child may find more appealing. Some examples are a high five, a handshake, etc.
Do not force kids to give hugs or kisses if they do not want to. When you force physical contact that kids do not want, you send the message that adults do not have to respect kids' physical boundaries. You also leave them helpless to abusive situations. Listen when a child says "no." There are other ways to show love and respect that your child may find more appealing. Some examples are a high five, a handshake, etc.
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Teach kids the correct names
for body parts
By teaching children the correct names for their body parts, especially their genitalia, you allow them to communicate better. They will be able to tell others about their bodies and any contact that they do not like. It can feel uncomfortable to always use the words penis and vagina. It would feel much worse, however, to know that your child was trying to speak out to stop abuse and no one understood him or her.
By teaching children the correct names for their body parts, especially their genitalia, you allow them to communicate better. They will be able to tell others about their bodies and any contact that they do not like. It can feel uncomfortable to always use the words penis and vagina. It would feel much worse, however, to know that your child was trying to speak out to stop abuse and no one understood him or her.
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Monitor "one-on-one"
time with adults
One-on-one time with an adult leaves kids at risk for abuse. It is not realistic to say that your children should never be alone with a babysitter or another adult. Whenever possible, make sure that your children can be easily seen by others when with an adult.
One-on-one time with an adult leaves kids at risk for abuse. It is not realistic to say that your children should never be alone with a babysitter or another adult. Whenever possible, make sure that your children can be easily seen by others when with an adult.
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Know that sexual criminals come
in all shapes and sizes
The CDC reports that over 90% of children are sexually abused by someone they know. Spend time teaching kids how to handle any situation that feels uncomfortable. The "keep away from strangers" talk is not enough.
The CDC reports that over 90% of children are sexually abused by someone they know. Spend time teaching kids how to handle any situation that feels uncomfortable. The "keep away from strangers" talk is not enough.
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Make the most of any chance you
get to talk with your kids about this
The fact is that 30% of victims never tell about their abuse to anyone. The other 70% may simply be looking for a chance to tell someone what has happened.
The fact is that 30% of victims never tell about their abuse to anyone. The other 70% may simply be looking for a chance to tell someone what has happened.
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Not all background checks are
created equal
Ask what is included in background checks for all caretakers, nannies or others. If you want to do your own research, arrange for the caretaker to go for the Police fingerprinting. This is needed to show a national criminal record. Also ask for his or her Childline profile, which will show any in-state child abuse history
Ask what is included in background checks for all caretakers, nannies or others. If you want to do your own research, arrange for the caretaker to go for the Police fingerprinting. This is needed to show a national criminal record. Also ask for his or her Childline profile, which will show any in-state child abuse history
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Avoid "Good Touch/Bad
Touch"
As adults, we understand that a "bad touch" normally refers to sexual abuse. We know what it involves. But for most children a "bad touch" is something that causes pain. A "good touch" for a child is only something that feels good. Children that have been felt or touched such that their genitalia become stimulated sometimes believe the touching felt "good". Because of this, they do not see the encounter as something that they should tell someone about. By changing these terms with "safe and unsafe touches," kids are often less confused. This makes it easier for them to understand and speak out about touching that makes them physically or emotionally uncomfortable.
As adults, we understand that a "bad touch" normally refers to sexual abuse. We know what it involves. But for most children a "bad touch" is something that causes pain. A "good touch" for a child is only something that feels good. Children that have been felt or touched such that their genitalia become stimulated sometimes believe the touching felt "good". Because of this, they do not see the encounter as something that they should tell someone about. By changing these terms with "safe and unsafe touches," kids are often less confused. This makes it easier for them to understand and speak out about touching that makes them physically or emotionally uncomfortable.
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Be clear and cover all bases
When talking about body safety, it is just as important to tell kids that it is not okay to touch others as it is to tell them that no one should touch them. Be clear with them about the different kinds of touching that are not safe. Then they are able to know if they experience it.
When talking about body safety, it is just as important to tell kids that it is not okay to touch others as it is to tell them that no one should touch them. Be clear with them about the different kinds of touching that are not safe. Then they are able to know if they experience it.
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